Teen Tips for Romance and Dating

Love can take you to new highs — and new lows. You may have the strongest feelings of your life, which is great when things are good. But if things go bad, it’s devastating. Here are six dating tips to help you keep your head during this exciting time.

Dating Tip 1: Take Your Time

Take Your Time
Take Your Time

Some teens date, some don’t. “Girls need to feel good about themselves before they start to date,” says Charles Wibbelsman, MD, chief of adolescent medicine at Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco. His advice: only date if you know yourself and know you want to date. If you’re not ready, it’s cool to stay single and hang out with your close friends.

Dating Tip 2: Find Someone Who Likes You Back

Find Someone Who Likes You Back
Find Someone Who Likes You Back

Feelings that aren’t returned can make you question everything about yourself. Did you say something wrong? Were you wearing the wrong things? In a healthy relationship, the feelings are mutual. You respect each other and have fun together. If this doesn’t describe your situation, there’s nothing wrong with you, but you probably do need to keep looking.

Dating Tip 3: Know When to Move On

Know When to Move On
Know When to Move On

Sometimes you have to admit it, the relationship isn’t working. Maybe the love of your life has turned mean and selfish. Maybe you realize you want something better. “If a boyfriend doesn’t give you what you need, walk away,” says Danielle Greaves, MSW, who works with girls at The Guidance Center in Cambridge, Mass. She tells girls all the time, “It hurts now, but you can get through this.”

Dating Tip 4: Talk About Facebook Before You Talk on Facebook

Talk About Facebook Before You Talk on Facebook
Talk About Facebook Before You Talk on Facebook

Social media puts the ups and downs of dating out there for everyone to see. If you like a guy or he likes you, it’s perfectly OK to ask him not to post things about you online, including pictures. Some things don’t have to be shared with the whole world.

Dating Tip 5: Protect Yourself From Pressure

Pressure is not love, and it’s not even normal. Most teens say they’ve never felt pressured to be in a relationship before they were ready. Still, a little mental preparation never hurts. Decide ahead of time what your values are and how far you want to go. That way, you won’t have to figure it out in the heat of the moment.

Protect Yourself From Pressure
Protect Yourself From Pressure

Here are a few concrete things you can do to keep yourself out of the pressure chamber:

  • Avoid situations where a guy might expect more than you want to give.
  • Go out with boys close to your age. Girls who go out with older guys are more likely to have sex before they’re ready.

Dating Tip 6: Give Love Time to Grow

Sometimes the idea of love is better than love itself. How do you know if you’re really in love?

If you’re infatuated, need constant reassurance, and have trouble thinking about anything else, these are signs you’re not really in love. It’s fun for now, but in time you’ll probably feel disappointed.

Give Love Time to Grow
Give Love Time to Grow

Mature love grows stronger with time. The more you get to know each other, the stronger your feelings. And you don’t have to be someone you’re not. You like each other for who you truly are. If you’re like most people, finding mature love takes more than one try, but it’s definitely worth it.

How To Have a Vaginal Orgasm

You very rarely hear women say they can achieve orgasm just from penetration, but like the Loch Ness Monster, the legend sticks around just enough to make those who are more clitorally-oriented wonder if it’s worth working towards. And men put a premium on it for a few obvious reasons: (A) Porn and (B) They want to feel like their penis is a sexual hot-rod that will make you speak in tongues and throw your vibrator in a volcano.

How To Have a Vaginal Orgasm
How To Have a Vaginal Orgasm

So how, if it’s even possible for mere mortals, can we have a vaginal orgasm? Ian Kerner, the author ofShe Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring a Woman, says that if you interpret “vaginal orgasm” as achieving orgasm from penetration alone, it’s pretty rare. “Vaginal orgasms don’t happen without some kind of clit stimulation. They can be enhanced with the G-spot, which provides a different sensation, and clitoral orgasm during penetration can give you the feeling of vaginal orgasm.”

So, are vaginal orgasms possible? “I don’t want to say they’re a myth, because some women do have them. But it’s very rare to take a dildo or a vibrator and have an orgasm simply by thrusting.”

It’s a slightly less daunting prospect to narrow down your expectations simply to finding your G-spot. In 2011, a Yale urologist speculated that the G-spot was actually just an extension of the clitoris. Dr. Emily Morse, a sex expert with a doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, says that Kegels will immensely help you out by strengthening your muscles and basically giving you the vaginal equivalent of a six-pack — when the muscles down there are more defined, it’s easier to locate the G-spot. She also suggests a sex toy with a slight curve.

How To Have a Vaginal Orgasm
How To Have a Vaginal Orgasm

As for sex with a partner, Morse suggests doing it doggy style:

This rear entry position is a great position for women to reach maximum G-spot pleasure. But they have to assume the right position.

His penis will apply pressure to her G-spot if she starts on all fours and arches her back downwards (pushing her belly button towards the floor) while keeping her head up. If she keeps her arms straight and locks her elbows, channeling the “Cow” of cat-cow pose in yoga, she got it right. This way he can easily lift her hips upwards while he thrusts in a downward motion.

Or woman on top:

When she’s on top, she’s in control and can more easily control the depth, pace and angle her hips in just the right way to hit her G-spot. It might mean leaning forward or back while adjusting the speed and pressure but when she’s on top she can experiment until it’s just right.

As we’ve learned, sufficient clit stimulation is tantamount to having even a vaginal orgasm. Megan Andelloux, executive director at The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, says that most women find the upper left hand quadrant of their clit the most receptive to stimulation. She also lists the most difficult orgasmic positions for women: 69-ing, standing, and straddling her partner’s face.

So there you have it. Go forth and find your G-spot.