The Differences Between Dating and Marriage

If someone asked you why they should get married when dating seems like the same thing, what would you say? Here are four differences between dating and getting married.

>>One-Sided Love Is Not Love

Dating is a tryout for marriage

Dating offers you the chance to explore and learn before you make the serious commitment of marriage. You can move in with someone and share different aspects of your life to test out what marriage would be like with that person. It’s not, however, the same as being married. There are different legal aspects of marriage (such as bank accounts, taxes, will’s, etc.) that you can’t experience while dating. This can be good or bad—it depends on your specific situation.

It’s dangerous to try the benefits of marriage when you’re dating

The Differences Between Dating and Marriage

That legal stuff, well, you can try it while you’re dating, but it’s not advisable. I could list story after story of couples who were dating, and attempted to combine their bank accounts and their end of life preparations where it turned into a disaster. Even some married couples don’t combine everything, so it seems scary to try it while you’re dating. When you’re married, you make a legal declaration in the eyes of the law that you’re combining your life with another person.

Marriage is the ultimate form of commitment

Saying, “I Do” and signing those papers is serious business. You’re making a public declaration to the world and in the eyes of the law. You’re saying that you want to spend the rest of your life with one person, and they are a person you’re willing to face tough times with. Yes, you can do some of this while you’re dating, but it’s not the same thing–ask your partner. 

Marriage is worth fighting for

The Differences Between Dating and Marriage

There are some relationships that will come and go while you’re dating. When you’re married, you have a strong desire to work through any problems. There’s a shift that happens in your mind that makes you willing to do whatever it takes to stay together. I’m NOT talking about staying together if there’s abuse; I’m talking about the normal relationship stuff.

Marriage can be wonderful. It can also be the worst thing that ever happened to you. It’s important to use dating as a way to learn and grow closer to someone. It’s an opportunity to get to know that person and determine whether or not you want to make that commitment.

No one is perfect, and sadly, people hide who they are. All any guy can do is the best he can to make important decisions and choices. I hope you find that special someone and you live happily ever after. Love is amazing. Here’s to you and your happiness!

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How to have non-crap sex at a festival

Music, drinks and general good spirits at a festival make a lot of us feel like getting down and dirty – but many things can go wrong, and tent sex can be a bit crap. Here are some tips help you to get a non-crap sex at a festival.

>>Tips for Safer Sex Alternatives

Wellies – check, wet wipes – check, condoms…

Whether you are actively seeking some festival romance or you believe it’s strictly off the cards, condoms are as essential as your wellies. Things can and do happen and once you’re in a field miles from the nearest shops opportunities to access contraception will be few and far between so make sure you take them with you!

Remember prepare condom

Don’t get caught

Unlike most outdoor sex where you can find a secluded spot away from prying eyes – a festival is filled with thousands of revellers which makes ‘not getting caught’ a little more tricky! Timing is everything – if you’re camping, wait until the crowds are distracted by a popular band before sneaking back to your tent to indulge. If not, your options are more limited – besides the hygiene considerations, a festival portaloo has the obvious disadvantage of a constant stream of festival goers queuing outside so isn’t the most private location! If you really can’t resist the urge, again wait for a popular band to come on before finding a quiet corner a safe distance away to get busy.

Avoid the beer goggles

Much has been said about the magical powers of Beer goggles. Example; the guy with the anorak and a dodgy haircut talking into his shoe suddenly becomes uber cool and uber sexy – the drawback is that their powers are temporary – clouding your judgment long enough for you to throw caution to the wind but disappearing just as quickly to leave you with complete clarity and possibly regret. To avoid a beer goggle-induced sexual encounter, it’s a good idea to pace yourself with alcohol consumption and have a pre-agreement with trusted friends to politely intervene and stop each other doing anything you may regret later.

Save yourself (and your friends) embarrassment

Save yourself (and your friends) embarrassment

If you do decide to take your festival flirting to the next stage and head back to the tent, for your own safety it is always wise to let someone know where you are going and with who, plus if you’re sharing a tent with a friend giving them a heads up of what you are planning will help reduce the risk of any unexpected surprises and of subjecting them to an eyeful.

Watch out for group situations that go too far…

While pitching up a tent and kicking back for a few days is a major highlight of a music festival, the combination of high spirits, alcohol and tent sharing can lead to group situations which go further than you would be comfortable with normally. At the time it might seem fun to share a sexy experience with more than one person but if this is not something you would usually do you might feel differently afterwards. This can be particularly excruciating if it happens with people you know – you don’t want to spend the next year avoiding eye contact with your flatmates. Think carefully before engaging in any sexual activity that is out of character.

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One-Sided Love Is Not Love

One-sided love is not love. It is torture. It’s waiting for something that might never happen. It’s looking at someone who doesn’t see you. It’s thinking about someone day and night while you probably never cross their mind. It’s looking at your phone hoping they’d text you or call you as they call someone else. It’s reaching out to them with so much fervor as they respond with indifference.

>>When You Miss Him

One-sided love is not love. It’s a battlefield.

You’re battling your emotions. You’re battling your feelings. You’re battling reality. You’re battling everything people are telling you and believing your fantasies. You’re battling your own intuition. Your gut. Your logic. Your heart. It’s a battle you can’t win. A war you can’t stop. It’s losing over and over again. It’s surrendering to something that will eventually destroy you.

One-sided love is not love. It is heartbreak

One-sided love is not love. It’s heartbreak.

It’s one person giving and the other one is taking. It’s one person loving and the other is not even moved. It’s one person always hoping for something more while the other is avoiding the subject altogether. It’s one person willing to do anything to make it work and the other is not even thinking about it. It’s one person always crying and the other one is always laughing.

One-sided love is not love. It’s self-destruction.

It’s questioning your self-worth every night. It’s constantly wondering why you’re not enough, why you never get picked, why you’re never the chosen one. It’s amplifying every minor flaw. It’s looking at yourself and not liking anything about you. It’s lying in bed overthinking everything you’ve said and done because it must have been something you said, it must have been you. It’s feeling like you’ll never be loved because no one was able to love you back. No one you wanted truly wanted you.

It is self-destruction

One-sided love is not love. It’s a crush. It’s infatuation. It’s obsession.

It’s liking the idea of someone. But real love is never one-sided. Real love is reciprocated. Real love is patient. Real love is understanding. Real love is two people embarking on a wonderful journey together with all its ups and downs. It’s two people willingly choosing each other. It’s two people trying to accept each other and love the worst parts of one another. It’s two people promising to be there for each other in sickness and in health.

It’s loyalty. It’s reassurance. It’s commitment. It’s intimacy. It’s depth. It’s strength. It’s a reason to live longer. It’s a reason to have faith in life. Real love heals. One-sided love breaks. Real love is the only love you need to look for. One-sided love is anything but love. It’s a poetic term for heartbreak. A poetic term for suffering.

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When You Miss Him

When you miss him, when you miss the touch of someone else; the comforting arm late at night; the warm body as the sunrises; the weight of him next to you…

>>Ways to Still Be Independent When You’re in a Relationship

When you miss him, when you miss the words he once said; the reassurance in doubts; the goodmorning texts; the late night chats; the sound of I love you

When you miss him, when you miss the knowing that he is there; the stability of his presence; the comfort of his soul; the plus one to every invite; the other half of you; the never having to be alone…

When you miss him, ask yourself what you’re really missing. Is it really him?

When you miss him, ask yourself what you’re really missing. Is it really him?

Is it him you miss that holds you to sleep? Is it him you miss that says all you need to hear? Is it him you miss that makes you feel…comfortable?

Because if he has left, if he’s now gone, are you sure it’s him you want…

Or is it the idea of him, of everything he represented, of everything you thought he was? Is he the idea of what you want?

It’s normal to want someone, to feel you need someone, to shield you from the reality of what you’re lacking. Because all of what you need , all of what you want, has to be within you first.

Can’t you see that without first seeing your own worth no one else will ever value yours?

When you miss him

You don’t need a man to hide behind, a love to shield you in discomfort. You don’t need a hand to hold, a hand to reassure you in your pain. You don’t need a body to feel, a comforting touch to give you love. You don’t need this, but you deserve and desire this- but first you have to love.

Because you deserve a great love; a wildly passionate love; a devine soulful love. So please, please take the time to see that within you first. And ask yourself when you miss him is it really him you’re missing?

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Ways to Still Be Independent When You’re in a Relationship

You can (and should!) have solo time within a relationship. And there are ways to do it without compromising your bond.

>>5 Important Considerations When Dating To Marry

Plan Solo Activities

When you’re immersed in those first few intoxicating months of a relationship, it’s only natural to find that you have less time for your usual hobbies. Spending QT with your guy and making him happy makes you happy, so who cares if you’re blowing off a random mani-pedi or Spinning class, right? Wrong. Consistently putting yourself second sets an unhealthy precedent for the relationship and sends a message that your life is based solely on what he wants and on his timeline. It’s critical to honor your own desires. That means getting those nails done if you feel like it, hopping on a bike and pedaling your butt off, or doing whatever it is you’ve been neglecting. Most important: Once you commit to these plans, don’t cancel — even if your honey wants to hang. He can wait.

See Your Friends Often

See your friends often

We’ve all known that girl — or maybe you’ve been the one — who goes MIA the moment she starts dating a new guy. Not only is this sort of behavior disrespectful of the long-standing bond you have with your friends, it also deprives you of the specific kind of love and attention they bring to your life that, no matter how great your boyfriend is, he does not. To keep from going this route, mandate a weekly or monthly GNO that’s an unmovable event. Whenever it rolls around, don’t ask your guy if it’s OK with him if you go see them, just tell him that you’re going. Remember: The point of having independence is that it’s not something you ask for; you check in and then you take it.

Visit Your Family Alone

It makes sense that you’d want to bring your other half home for holidays. But there’s no need to bring him every time you go, especially if you get along with your family. It can be refreshing for you to spend time with your loved ones without him. And truthfully, your guy may not get all those inside jokes or stories (that’s why you spend half your time translating), or he may not find your home — or the people in it — as fascinating as you do. That’s OK! Home can be a place where you go down memory lane with the people who are special to you.

Visit your family alone

Tell Him Why You’re Seeking Space

Now, in taking all these steps, there is a chance that your man may get a little distressed by all your newfound freedom. At the same time, you may even start to worry that, by doing your own thing, you’re inadvertently pushing him away. Being upfront with him about why you’re taking more time for yourself can help protect each of you against these feelings. Reassure him that what you’re doing is good for you and for him and better for your relationship in the long run. If he’s still struggling with the idea of your having your own life,it may be time to reconsider how much you’re willing to invest in some-one who has trouble letting you do you.

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