5 Things Men Should Never Say To A Naked Woman

Love can be messy – especially the sex part. But to straighten things out, sometimes you have to start a difficult conversation. And that’s fine, if you do it with tact. “You have to develop the vocabulary to talk about sensitive issues,” says sex therapist Arlene Goldman. “It will help you please your partner.”

In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy found that communication is the most critical factor in a couple’s success – it’s even more significant than the sex itself. That’s why you should pause before you open your big mouth and say something you’ll regret. We talked to the experts to find out how you can ace the talks you’d rather avoid and still come out on top (or bottom, whichever you prefer).

>>5 unexpected health benefits of orgasms

“That orgasm seemed as fake as Trump’s hair.”

Don’t accuse her (via Universal Headlines)

Don’t accuse her, says psychologist Eli Finkel. Instead, have that talk away from the bedroom. When the topic comes up naturally, say, “You don’t ever need to fake orgasms with me. I want our relationship to be totally honest.” You’ll foster mutual respect, in and out of the sack.

“Not now, thanks. I’d rather just read my book.”

You’re allowed to be tired, but make sure she knows you’re surprised, too. Try, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m too exhausted”, says Finkel. Then ask for a rain check – say, for the morning – and tell her you’ll do anything she wants. “Reassuring her is important,” Goldman says. If she knows you’re still interested, she’ll give you a pass.

“There’s something really weird I want to try with you.”

Congrats – now she’s wary. “If you say, ‘I know this is weird, but . . .’ your partner is bound to feel conflicted,” Goldman says. A smarter way in: “I’m curious about bondage. What do you think?” By starting a conversation instead of forcing her to say yes or no, you give her time to think. She’ll see that you view the act as a way to connect, not control.

Things men should never say to a naked woman (via Cheap Nude Heels And Pumps 2017)

“I’ll enjoy it more after you take a test.”

The message she hears: “I suspect you have an STI.” That’s not exactly a turn-on. So flip the script: tell her you want to get tested for her sake, and ask if she’d be willing to do it with you. If you frame the suggestion as something the two of you can do together, says Goldman, then she won’t feel accused.

“Is that supposed to feel good? I don’t like it.”

Say this, and you’ll look like a dick. Instead, show that you’re eager to improve, too, says Goldman. Ask, “What do you want more of or less of in bed?” You’ll learn something about your own game, and when it’s your turn to share, she’ll be all ears. One trick: sandwich the complaint between two compliments and it’ll go down even easier.

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5 unexpected health benefits of orgasms

While we all know they feel great, orgasms can also help you sleep better and even be more social.

>>Queefing – interesting things you need to know

They can curb your appetite

One benefit of orgasms is that they stimulate the release of oxytocin, which is also known as the love hormone. To give you an idea of how potent this little hormone is, one study found that mice that had been bred without the oxytocin gene displayed a significantly enhanced intake of carbohydrate solutions. The release of oxytocin may also shift our motivational behaviour from a desire to eat to a desire to reproduce. Oxytocin also counteracts anxiety and depression by lowering cortisol concentrations, which is well known for its role in boosting belly fat and cravings for carbs.

They can curb your appetite (via Reader’s Digest)

You may boost testosterone levels

Although it’s commonly said that you need testosterone to have a libido, it also works the other way around. Sexual function is a lot like lean muscle — if we don’t use it, we lose it, along with the hormonal benefits that come with it.

The jury’s out on whether orgasms themselves cause a spike in testosterone, though many studies have shown increased testosterone in women after sex, with some pointing to an association between testosterone, orgasming, sexual desire, and relationship commitment in women. When present in the proper balance, these hormones add fire to sexual desire, give us more sex appeal, improve mood and memory and can even (again) prevent abdominal fat. You don’t need to have a partner to tap into these benefits. Research shows that men and women who have orgasms that are masturbation-induced also experience small increases in testosterone.

Some pre-coital cuddling, however, is also very important. Scientists at Simon Fraser University measured the level of testosterone in women before and after sex, cuddling and exercise. Although the women’s testosterone was higher both before and after sexual intercourse, cuddling gave the biggest testosterone boost of all.

Orgasms help us sleep better

Help you sleep better (via The Amazing.info)

Oxytocin’s ability to reduce our cortisol levels may create an overall feeling of relaxation and even sleepiness for some. Vasopressin, another chemical associated with sleep, is also released during orgasm. Because of oxytocin’s location in the paraventricular nucleus of your hypothalamus, an area of the brain that is essential in regulating sleep and arousal, it may play a role in influencing sleepiness.

If you’re frustrated that your partner goes into snooze mode immediately after the act, you may want to rethink what it means and just join them instead. According to a recent study at the University of Michigan and Albright College in Pennsylvania, the tendency to fall asleep first after sex is also associated with greater partner desire for bonding and affection.

Enjoy an enhanced sense of smell

An orgasm also releases a hormone called prolactin, which causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain’s olfactory bulb (or smell centre). In women, prolactin is known to surge after sex, during pregnancy and while breastfeeding.

While research shows that the magnitude of prolactin-increase following intercourse is 400 percent greater than that following masturbation, you can still reap the benefits on your own. Remember, the greater the prolactin surge, the more satiating the orgasm. To go back on the sleep topic for a moment, it’s also interesting to note that prolactin levels are naturally higher during sleep — another reason getting busy can help you turn the lights out at night.

They can beat inflammation and improve your social life (via Greatist)

They can beat inflammation and improve your social life

Most of us know that a healthy sex life can help beat stress. There are even more great benefits of oxytocin such as lowering blood pressure and even improving digestion — which often goes to the wayside during times of stress. It’s true, they’ve found oxytocin receptors in the gut, showing this powerful hormone can even calm gastrointestinal inflammation in mice, which causes abdominal discomfort.

A study from Concordia also shows that oxytocin makes you feel more social, enhances your trust and improves your bond with others.

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Tips for boosting confidence in the bedroom

Sex is natural, joyous, and occasionally even worth skipping a Riverdale marathon for. But it can also be stressful, and especially for shy guys and gals who feel like fumbling amateurs among professional woo-masters. Here are seven tips for shedding those insecurities and leaving them in a heap at the bedroom door:

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Practice makes perfect

One of the most common reasons why people are shy in the bedroom is lack of sexual experience, says Vancouver-based sex therapist and relationships counselor, Dr. Teesha Morgan. And the best way to gain more boom-boom experience and therefore confidence is — wait for it — to have more sex. “It’s kind of like the idea that what we fear most is good for us,” jokes Morgan.

Practice makes perfect (via Glamour)

Forget what that jerk said back in college

If you’ve had sex, you’ve probably had an embarrassing sexual experience. Don’t let a ghost from your sexual past haunt the present. “Hanging on to the past, to resentments and anger, sadness and upset,” says Morgan, “that’s like drinking poison and thinking it’ll kill your enemy.” Morgan’s best advice: stay in the present moment.

Know what you like

Insecurity may also come from a lack of understanding about what feels good to you. Morgan counsels people to spend a little quality time with themselves. That may include self-touching.

“Connect to what you feel is sensual or sexual,” says Morgan, who also advocates carving out some quality fantasizing time, or taking a hot bath and revelling in the relaxation. Heck, do them both at the same time!

Know what you like (via Men’s Fitness)

Don’t fake orgasms — fake confidence!

“Fake it till you make it” applies as well to sexual matters as it does to careers and personal success, explains Morgan. “Confidence is your most important accessory,” says Morgan. “Even if it’s fake.”

Save your body image issues for bikini season

Not liking your boobs, your bum, your thighs, your face, your hair? It’s common, say Morgan. But forget it. Sex is about sensation, not six-pack abs, so get in touch with the sensations in your body rather than thinking about whether or not your breasts look saggy.

Do your homework

Tips to boost confidence in the bedroom (via Glamour)

To learn about your partner’s body and become more attuned to the moment, perform a sensation exercise, says Morgan. Here’s an easy one she recommends: get into your birthday suit and lie down with your similarly attired partner. Light some candles, or whatever sets the mood. Tell your partner to close their eyes as you explore their body gently (it doesn’t have to be genital-focused). “The point isn’t to bring your partner to orgasm but to explore sensations. Touch them from head to toe with varying speed, pressure, direction, for about 15 minutes,” explains Morgan. Then switch. “At the end of 30 minutes,  talk about it…what you experienced, liked, preferred, or didn’t like, etc, sensation-wise,” says Morgan.

Take baby steps

Take a baby-steps approach to engaging more deeply with your sexuality and your partner, says Morgan. It can be as simple as creating a cute code word for when you’re in the mood (“Cheetos?”) or establishing a signal (i.e., the old sock on the door knob).

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Queefing – interesting things you need to know

Queefing is a totally natural bodily function that happens when air gets trapped in your vagina. But somehow, no matter how often you remind yourself of this fact, it’s still difficult not to blush a little when it happens. Here, San Jose-based Sheila Loanzon, a board-certified ob-gyn, answers everything you’ve ever wanted to know about queefing and explains why you should never be ashamed of your queefs.

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It’s not a fart

Dr. Loanzon says a queef is just the passage of air through the vaginal canal. A queef happens when air pushed in from something like sexual penetration (be it from a toy or a penis) needs to be released from the vaginal canal.

It’s the vibrations from the labia majora that you’re hearing

“The sound comes from the vibrations of the labia majora, which includes the vulva and vaginal lips.” Dr. Loanzon explains. “It’s similar to the sound of flatus, colloquially known as farting, or gas exiting from the rectum, which occurs when the butt cheeks flap together.”

Queef is just the passage of air through the vaginal canal (via Romper)

You can’t control queefs like farts because your butt is just tighter

“The anal sphincter is much tighter and better toned than the vaginal tissue, and therefore can be controlled,” Dr. Loanzon says. “It can contain passage of gas from the gastrointestinal tract, whereas you can’t control your vaginal muscles as readily.”

Certain positions will put you more at risk of queefing than others

Dr. Loanzon says positions, like doggy-style, in which your partner pushes more air into your vaginal canal, can make you more prone to queefing than others. You can also be more likely to queef if you rotate positions too quickly after your partner has pumped air into you.

Depending on your birth history, you may also be more likely to queef

You should never be ashamed of your queefs (via thehypothyroidismchick)

Dr. Loanzon says women who have given birth to larger babies may have larger vaginal canals, which can accommodate more air.

There’s really nothing you can do about queefing

“If you try to contract the vaginal canal to prevent air from coming in, it can cause sex to be more painful,” Dr. Loanzon explains. “If anything, you could try to manage the amount of air going in by slowing down the speed of penetration and using less depth — not having sex hard and fast, jackhammer-style — but it’s probably not that realistic in the heat of the moment.”

Using a lot of lube can mean delayed queefs

Dr. Loanzon says if air bubbles get trapped inside lube, a queef can come out during sex or when urinating afterward.

Don’t be embarrassed by your queefs!

Dr. Loanzon says to remember that queefs are natural. “Just say, ‘excuse me,’ and carry on. And maybe laugh, because that can release the tension. It’s very anatomic so it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Queefing – interesting things you need to know (via Cosmopolitan)

You can queef from doing nonsexual things like jumping jacks, coughing, or even wearing underwear

Yep! Dr. Loanzon says anything that can introduce air into the vagina, like jumping jacks or trampolining, or coughing and sneezing, can also lead to queefing. “Some people also notice when they’re wearing a thong, the labia gets trapped and air can get in that way too. That’s another reason why you shouldn’t be embarrassed, because it usually happens when you’re either having sex, exercise, or wearing clothes, which means you’re taking care of yourself in some way.”

The word “queef” is not a medical term

Who knew! Dr. Loanzon says doctors normally just refer to it as “passage of air through the vaginal canal.”

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