10 types of sex people who’ve been dating forever have

Here are the list of 10 types of sex people who’ve been dating forever have:

>>Best dating tips for all the single ladies

Angry Make-up Sex

Make as many arguments as you want for being perpetually single and free. You’ll never get to have make up sex where you simultaneously can’t wait to not be fighting anymore, but also let out any leftover aggression. There’s a very strong argument for this being the unequivocal best kind of sex.

Casual Masturbation

Sometimes, you can’t be bothered to go through all fanfare and hullabaloo of sex. So instead, you just rub one out through your pajama flap while you lay in bed together. Ah, romance!

Let’s get out of comfort zone (via Date My Pet)

“Let’s Get Out of Our Comfort Zone” Sex

It should be noted that “comfort zone” is subjective. Some couples might see it as buying a pair of fur handcuffs. Others might just want to introduce a few new positions or watch some porn together. Other couples might go to orgies. Who knows! But once you’ve been in a relationship for long enough, there comes a time where one of you says, ‘Hey, I think we should really switch things up.’

Incredibly Lazy Sex

There are days where you wake up hungover, or groggy. There are nights where you’re tired but horny. In a long-term relationship, it’s fine to just go at it with the bare minimum every once in awhile.

Rediscovering-sex Sex

Rediscovering-sex (via Glamour)

In a long enough relationship, you go through peaks and valleys in the amount of sex you’re having. Any long-term couple has had a bit of a dry spell together followed by a tornado of intimacy.

We’re-Supposed-to-be-Ready-in-Five-Minutes Sex

Sometimes you just can’t help it and you wind up wildly late to that fancy dinner thing. It’s not his fault you look irresistible dressed up.

Vacation Sex aka They’re-Going-to-Have-to-Light-This-Hotel-Room-on-Fire-After-We-Leave-Because-They’ll-Never-Get-Rid-of-the-Smell Sex

Seriously, how is every hotel not a biohazard by now?

Baby-Making Sex

Baby-making sex (via Glamour)

At some point in the relationship, couples might decide to have kids. And having sex with the goal of procreation in mind is a whole different beast with two backs. There are schedules to adhere to and menstrual cycles to keep track of, and it can sometimes even feel like an obligation. Like how you might love McDonald’s french fries, but if you worked there you’d get sick of them.

We-Actually-Have-Time-to-Ourselves Sex

As couples get older, their obligations change and pile-up. Promotions at work mean spending more time at the office. Friends and kids and the kids of friends and your kid’s friends all eat up your schedule. Sometimes, you have sex just because you actually have a few hours to yourself.

Sex

Sex doesn’t really change that much. Long-term couples are still having sex whenever they want. And while they’ve got more experiences together under their belt, they’re still just having good old- fashioned sex.

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Best dating tips for all the single ladies

Looking for that special someone, but not sure how to play the dating game? Here’s the need-to-know advice from the relationship experts.

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A little compassion can go a long way

Maia Szalavitz, author of Born for Love, says that kindness is one of the top qualities sought by both men and women. “Though it’s obvious that guys walking dogs or [playing with] babies attract women, men also seek evidence of nurturing,” she says.

Break your routine to meet new people

Once you’re out of school – with its seemingly limitless supply of drunken encounters and early morning regret – it gets harder to meet people. Dating expert Kateryna Spiwak recommends taking up new hobbies and interests, joining clubs, volunteering, networking, and trying singles services. “Even eating in new restaurants and walking through different neighbourhoods can bring you face-to-face with the person of your dreams,” she says.

Break your routine to meet new people (via Eudaimonia Recovery Homes)

Be aware of your body language

Actions often speak louder than words, so be conscious of what you’re conveying with physical cues. Sex therapist Dr. Teesha Morgan recommends sitting with an “open” body (turned towards your date with arms uncrossed) and trying to subtly mirror his movements. Casual touching of his arms or back can score points, but don’t overdo it. You’re going for the “sensual subliminal” vibe, not the “I just got out of prison” vibe.

Ask questions

Sometimes, it’s easy to get so wrapped up in whether you’re making a good impression that you forget to engage the person across the table. “Someone who asks questions is seen as interesting and attractive on first dates,” says Terri Orbuch, relationship advisor and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. But like a friendly game of badminton, it should be an easy, back-and-forth volley; if your date starts spiking the shuttlecock, maybe pass on dessert.

Be aware of your body language (via Mental Floss)

Don’t talk about your ex

“No one wants to wonder whether their new partner is still smitten with his or her ex, or whether they, too, will end up on the receiving end of a mouthful of hatred,” says Morgan. So check your breakup baggage along with your coat, and instead spend the first few dates explaining your issues with your mother. Just kidding. Relax and simply try to get a decent picture of who your date is.

Be who you are

We’ve had it drilled into our heads that playing hard to get is the way to land Mr. Right—or, at least, Mr. Refuses to Meet My Friends Even Though We’ve Been Dating for Six Months. “But by acting hard-to-get, when in fact what you truly crave is closeness, consistency and stability, you stand a good chance of attracting the exact person who is least likely to make you happy—someone who prefers to keep you at arms length,” say Rachel Heller and Dr. Amir Levine, authors of Attached.

Be who you are (via Entrepreneur)

Give the dude a chance

A lot of ladies have lists of the qualities they want in a mate, either tucked away in some corner of their brain or perhaps drunkenly scrawled on a cocktail napkin after too many fingers of bourbon. But Spiwak says such lists can be unrealistic and limiting. “Don’t get too hung up on your list,” she advises. “Chemistry’s unpredictable, so you might find it where you least expect it.”

Look for similarities

The attraction of opposites is a common dating mantra—not to mention the basis of an excellent pop song by Paula Abdul—but that doesn’t mean it’s true. “It is very common to be attracted to the wrong type of person,” says Orbuch, “[and] typically this happens because you are fascinated with people who aren’t like you.” But studies surrounding relationship longevity indicate that you’re more likely to be happy with someone who shares your values and attitudes.

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Things women should know about using lube

Lube can fill a myriad of needs—whether that’s keeping the engine revving a little longer during a marathon sex-binge, making things a little bit more slippery, or introducing you to some new kinds of fun. Bottom line, lube is pretty fantastic. If you haven’t yet stocked up on a bottle but are in the market, here are some things you might want to know.

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You are not broken if you use lube (and neither is your partner)

It drives me crazy that some women really feel that way. I don’t get it! Using lube doesn’t mean that you’re not functioning. If anything, using lube makes you a connoisseur of sex and the ambassador of your own pleasure! So if anyone tells you that something is wrong with you or your body because you love lube, then they – not you – have some other issues going on.

You are not broken if you use lube (via Good Clean Love)

Don’t use oil-based lubes with condoms

Want to use baby oil or petroleum jelly? In the Guide to Getting It On, author Paul Joannides, PsyD, instructs readers to Not. Do. That. With. Condoms. It can deteriorate the latex in a condom and cause it to break. Not good. So if condoms are your only form of birth control, think wisely.

Don’t use silicone lubes with silicone sex toys

They can cause your silicone toy to break down. That said, silicone lubes are great for water play, as water-based lubes obviously wouldn’t work with that.

But silicone works with condoms

Silicone-based lubes last longer than water-based lubes (which work with both condoms and sex toys). Water-based lubes seem to a popular type of lube, but they also have a tendency to dry out more quickly, so you might need to reapply it during your sex-a-thon.

Silicone-based lubes work with condoms (via USA online news)

Popular forms of lubes could cause infections

If you are prone to yeast infections or any other non-fun infections down there, pay heed: A 2013 study published in Obstetrics & Gynecology revealed that women who used products that aren’t really supposed to go in their lady parts (like some oils or Vaseline) had higher rates of yeast and various bacterial infections, most probably because these products messed with their pH.

Oh, you might want to stay away from glycerin, too, which is found in a handful of popular ingredients, including many water-based lubricants — because nothing can put the brakes on your sex life like a nasty yeast infection or a case of bacterial vaginosis, a smelly infection, and Dr. Mary Marnach of Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, told Reuters glycerin can lead to both. So if you want to use a slippery friend during sexy time while using condoms, read the ingredients.

Oh! And fun fact from The Guide to Getting It On: Glycerin is also an ingredient in laxatives, which means lubes with that ingredient may not bode well with anal sex.

Popular forms of lubes could cause infections (via cattitude & co.)

When all else fails … just spit

Spit is relatively cheap (free), organic, and always ready at a moment’s notice. However, spit will dry out quicker, so it’s not the best option if you’re looking for a longer, uninterrupted frolic.

There’s no catch-all for what lube works for you

Of course, when it comes to your body and your orgasm, research (and trial and error) is key, but remember: Everyone’s experience is unique. One woman may be into Uberlube, but maybe you’ll prefer Astroglide. All you can do is try and see what puts you on the fast track to crazy pleasure.

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Why you should wait for marriage to have sex?

Seriously, if you had to answer that question, what’s the first thing you’d say?

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Having sex before you’re married can make our friendship less powerful

Sex is a powerful force. It is physically amazing (or at least it can be), and once you start, it’s hard to stop. It seems like that’s what you should be doing all the time.

And many couples, once they become sexually active, find that their relationship does now revolve around sex. Instead of finding other things to do, they stay in. Instead of socializing with other people, they jump in bed. And what happens? They lose their friendship. In fact, studies have shown that the level of emotional connection you’re at when you start having sex tends to be the level you stay at. Sex gives you an artificial feeling of intimacy. Then when you get married,  you realize your relationship is shallow, and it’s harder to get it back on track. It’s better to build that emotional connection early!

Having sex before you’re married can make our friendship less powerful (via The Psych Professionals)

A relationship can’t survive on sex alone

You need other things to keep you going. One of the benefits of not having sex while you’re engaged is that you’re forced to find other things to occupy your time. You talk, and find out about each other. You find hobbies or sports you can do together. You go biking, or hiking, or you play golf. You volunteer together. You DO something.

Once you get married, you settle into a routine. You go to work. You come home. You have dinner. You watch TV. You go to bed. You have sex. The problem is that, for women especially, you’re not going to want to make love unless you’re also connecting on different levels. And sex should be the culmination of the relationship, not the basis of the relationship. Sex should flow out of your friendship, affection, and companionship; your companionship, affection and friendship can’t flow out of sex. We need to feel connected first. But so does he. For sex to be meaningful, it has to be two people who truly love and want to be together. But how do you know if you want to be together if you don’t really know each other? You can have sex a ton and not really know each other, because you’re not doing anything else.

A relationship can’t survive on sex alone (via Yo Vizag)

That’s why we have that period, in engagement, to get to know each other. And the habits we develop then will carry over. If you’ve been helping out at church together, you’ll keep doing that. If you’ve been hanging out with your siblings, or with your friends, then you now have friends you can spend time with together. If you’ve been biking, you know you like doing that together.

But if you’ve been doing very little of anything at all, what is going to hold you together once you’re married? You need to have a friendship; you need a reason for that connection. Sex can’t be that. And couples who have learned how to build their friendship beforehand do much better in the long run.

Sex cements you together, when perhaps you should stay apart

Another woman wrote, “I confused sex with love. I thought that since we were having sex, we were bonded and meant to be together. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have married him.” Sex gives you a false sense of intimacy. When we have sex, we release the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, which makes us feel close to the person we’re with. We start to experience those fluttery feelings, and the wistful longing for that person.

Sex cements you together, when perhaps you should stay apart (via Scholarship Points)

But it doesn’t mean it’s based on anything real. Many people have “fallen into” marriage because they’ve been having sex and it seems like the next logical step. But while the physical side of their relationship accelerated, the rest of it didn’t. And now their friendship is stunted and it doesn’t look like they can build it up again.

You don’t know how to make love

Sex is supposed to be about connecting you together on all levels. When you have sex without the commitment, you take the bonding part out of the equation. And it’s very hard to get it back. So it means that sex, once you’re married, won’t be the powerful emotional force that it can be for others. It’s still focused primarily on the physical, and not on the rest. The emotional is not the primary consideration.

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Ways To Handle A Crush When You’re Already Committed

Expert-approved ways to ensure your harmless crush stays that way — and what it can teach you about your relationship.

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Remember that it’s natural

Though you may think you’re the worst wife/girlfriend in the world for even thinking that someone else is funnier, cuter or sexier than your undisputed one true love, the truth is that you’re not evil, you’re just human. In fact, you’ve only succumbed to the same natural phenomenon as millions of other good, decent men and women.

“Developing a crush on someone other than your long term partner is normal,” says Vancouver-based sex therapist Teesha Morgan.

“Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you suddenly stop noticing beautiful people. Crushes on bosses, coworkers, cute coffee shop attendees, waitresses, neighbours and anyone else you come into contact with on a regular basis is bound to happen, and that’s OK.”

Remember that is natural (via NELive.in)

Have control

Now that we’ve established your fragile humanity, let’s get one thing clear: Fantasies are fine and so are butterflies in your stomach when you’re in the presence of your secret crush. It’s how you behave in the face of temptation that reveal your character.

“Butterflies in our stomach that jump and flutter when they enter the room isn’t something that can really be controlled. What can be controlled are your actions,” explains Morgan.

“If you are making regular coffee dates with your coworker crush because you just want to spend time with them for example, then you are beginning to cross that line between a normal crush from afar, to a slippery slope of emotional or physical infidelity.”

Morgan’s advice is to cast a net over those butterflies. Let them flutter and flit internally until they die a natural death. Butterflies, both real and metaphorical, have a short lifespan.

Take some time to look at yourself

Take some time to look at yourself (via Bustle)

Obsessive thoughts are the hallmark of an intense crush, but instead of fixating on the object of your longing, change tacks.

Instead, consider all of those feelings as an opportunity to reflect on where you’re at emotionally and psychologically.

Obsessive thinking is a “red flag” says Toronto-based psychotherapist Aviva Mayers. “It indicates it’s time to reflect on our current, committed relationship and what may be going on there (or not going on) that is causing us to be so swept away by someone else.”

For example, a crush may reveal that you’re not having as much fun with your partner as you used to and have fallen into bad habits. Additionally, it may indicate that you’ve allowed too much emotional distance to crop up between you and your partner, says Mayers. If that’s the case then there’s a solution. Spend less time thinking about that cute guy at work and more quality time with your partner and make sure it’s time spent laughing, talking, and confiding in one another.

Acknowledge if you’re feeling lonely

Acknowledge if you are feeling alone (via Attention Deficit Disorder Association)

Keep your crush to yourself, but if you’re feeling lonely or undesirable or just missing some affection from your significant other, that’s information your partner should know.

“It isn’t necessary for our partner to know about the content of our fantasies, nor that we are even having them, but rather to be engaged in a discussion with them about what we are needing or missing in the relationship and how we can get it from them, in order that the two of us feel closer again,” says Mayers.

Remember that you’ve been through a lot together – and that should be cherished

Research into the science of commitment suggests that couples that grow together, stay together. Complacency is the enemy of development, so keep the love alive by continually experiencing new places, ideas and experiences with your partner. Don’t shut down or shut him or her out when you’re feeling isolated and confused, rather for the health of your union, draw your beloved closer and decide to take on the world — with all of its temptations, joys, sorrows and struggles — together.

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